My past month…

My life has been stressful the past few weeks. Which is why I have not written anything the past few weeks, and I’m sorry for that. This blog is going to be more like a journal today, so please bare with me.

About a month ago my father was admitted to the hospital. He had an abscess where he had one of his hernias about four years ago, and I was driving back and forth early in the morning. Plus going to work everyday. My father is not the type of person that gets sick a lot, but the past year we’ve had two big scares with him. But at least now he’s home and feeling better then he has in ten years he says.

Once we finally got my father out of the hospital, the same day we found out my Uncle was admitted to another hospital. At first we thought it was nothing, it was his leg as usual. Then out of no where we get a phone call from my aunt. She told us to be prepared, because he was unresponsive, had heart and kidney failure. We went up the next day and it was one of the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with in a long time. I’ve never seen him like that. All he wanted to do was hold mine and my cousin’s hand (his daughter). He was in so much pain. I really believed he was on his death bed, but as usual my uncle always beats death for the fourth or fifth time. The next day we went back up, and he was back to his old self. They started dialyses and it was helping! He is now in a nursing home, and doing dialyses. I know that he still has a long way to go, but at least he’s still here.

I thought we where in the clear, but I guess as they always say bad things always happens in threes. Which leads to my third scare, my mom. As I’ve said in the past my mother’s health is not the best, so when something happens it gives me a heart attack I start feeling sick and I get anxiety. Last Thursday my mom had an eye appointment. We decided since we where done early we would walk to talk to her cardiology doctor. She was having chest pains for a few days and it was getting harder for her to breath. She had an appointment for January, so we wanted to see if there was any earlier openings. Well needless to say the nurses saw how she was. They checked her vitals they where fine even her oxygen was perfect. They got nervous and said it could be her heart. So they made us go to the ER one of the nurses even followed us just to make sure we went. When we got to the ER they did a bunch of test and they though it was one of two things. Either Heart failure or another blockage like she had last year. Of course I was nervous, but I tried to stay calm.

They did all the test and everything came back normal, but her cholesterol was very high. Which didn’t make sense to me, because she was taking a cholesterol medicine. They decided to put her on another one to see if it helps, and they have her on a heart medicine to help with the pain. We thought everything was going to be ok, but now they are going to do test on her. They want to see if she has Endocrine Fibromyalgia. My mom is at that point she just wants to give up, and says she is tired of all the test. It’s stressful because I keep having to keep her calm and keep reminding her why she needs to go through with it.

So yeah this is what my life has been like the past month. I’m sorry for not posting, and I’m going to try my best to keep up with my blog as much as I can.

Life Of taking care of your Parent.

I don’t know if everyone who takes care of a sick parent goes through the same situations, but these are some of the things I’ve gone through while taking care of both of mine. My mother (type 1 diabetes) and my father (type 2 diabetes) as a kid or even a teenager I never really paid attention or saw how bad my parents health actually was. Both had different issues, and you never knew what could happen at any moment. The people looking from the out side never knowing the struggles we lived everyday. My sister living in another country is hard for her as well, always nervous not knowing if she’s going to get that phone call, and which one it could be. Some people say how strong my mother is, but they don’t even see how strong she truly is behind closed doors. Everyday is hard, seems as if whenever we finally get one thing under control something else happens. You never know if its something serious or if it’s just a common stomach bug or cold. People also see my father happy and laid back, but what they don’t see is the struggles he goes through everyday with his neuropathy. Last winter he became paralyzed from his neck down. I was always worried about my mother that I never realized how bad he was as well. It was one of the scariest things I have been though with them.

  When I was eighteen my mother had me fixing her medicine and learning how much insulin to give her. I started going to her appointments with her and slowing learning about diabetes and her other health issues. I started realizing how bad her health and how serious it was. By the time I was twenty-one I was doing all of her medicine and going to her appointments which meant going to the hospital once a week sometimes twice. She had already started losing her eye site by then. We had been struggling with her eyes for a couple of years, and the doctors where still fighting to make sure she wouldn’t get worse. By this time she started having more and more complications with her health Vascular disease, kidney problems, more eye issues, etc. They didn’t know what to do with her insulin. She became their guinea pig when it because to her eyes and diabetes. By the time I was twenty-three she was legally blind.  The doctors tried all they could to help her eyes. They tried new drugs which would show some progress, then it would just go back down hill. Her health had slowly just gone down, her fighting started to die. It seemed like she was starting to give up. By the age twenty-five I really thought I was about to lose my mother. She was spending more time in the Hospital. She went from having a staph infection to an acute kidney injury to having an heart attack. We had been fighting for her to get disability, which is a whole other story in itself.  It seemed as if we could never get a break, and no matter what we did it felt like the world just kept knocking us back down

    It was hard for me at first to change things in my life, and it still is at times. You get to the point no matter what you do to relax, go out with friends, spend a day out with your boyfriend, ect. you just can’t seem to relax your mind. People always say you don’t know what feels like to worry until you have kids of your own, but when you become the nurse to your own parent and start taking care of them you get nervous and just as worried as if they where your child. I know that’s weird to think of it that way. But when you call a couple of times and they don’t answer you really start thinking the worse. So many things start running through your mind. You always hope that your parents will live forever. You dream of your father walking you down the aisle, or that your mother will see and hold her grandchild. But the truth is you never know what the future holds. All you can do is hope and pray that you get to have plenty more memories with them.

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