Speechless…meeting your idol.

How would you react if you met someone you idolized?

Growing up my dad and his friends use to always watch WWE. I would always grab my beanbag and watch it with them haha. When they stopped coming over, because they all got busy I stopped watching. When I was 14 one of my friends was watching it every week, and talked me into watching it again. It was during the time of Legacy (Cody, Ted, and Randy). They where my favorite, plus I had a crush on Cody Rhodes lol . I also became a huge fan of Mickie James at that time.

When I got older, the more I started watching it only for Mickie and one or two other wrestlers. When she left WWE I watched it every now and then, but slowly stopped having interest in watching it. Later on One of my dads friends who knew I was a Mickie fan told me about how she was on TNA. Of course being a huge fan I started watching. I was upset when she left and stopped watching.

Later on I came across a post on facebook that she was going to be at a festival not to far from where I lived. I was determined to go to meet her. My dad being a fan himself decided to go with me so I wouldn’t go alone. The whole time I was excited. We got to her signing booth early. I met her mother, no problem at all. I wasn’t nervous or anything. I remember thinking how pretty and sweet she was. She even made jokes about how Mickie was late. My dad even had a conversation with her sister, and I didn’t think anything of it.

Once Mickie got there I got so nervous. I remember walking up to her and she asked me my name and that was pretty much all I could say. My dad even had to ask for a picture for me haha. When she pulled me closer to her and took the picture I was speechless. I always thought she was pretty, but she was prettier in person.

When we left my dad made fun of me and how I got frozen in front of her. I couldn’t stop smiling the rest of the day.  My mom and sister made jokes before saying watch her be a jerk or snob in person. I was so happy she wasn’t, because I had met other celebrities and they where. But she was so sweet and down to earth.

Have your ever met your Idol and became speechless. Couldn’t even think of anything to say? Or did you feel calm?



Apple Cider Vinegar…
I’ve always loved vinegar (yes I know gross) but I have ever since I was little. My favorite chips where Salt and Vinegar, and I’ve always liked pickled beets (homemade) and pickles. but I never knew how good apple cider vinegar was for you until recently. I’ve always heard people talk about it, but never paid attention. All I ever knew is that I liked the taste.
After my surgery, I got more obsessed with apple cider vinegar. I stopped eating dressings on my salad and started doing just vinegar (no oil). Then I was even eating more salt and vinegar chips. I didn’t know why, but I just wanted vinegar all the time. Later one I found out a lot of women who went to operations somewhat like mine or other stomach surgeries they started wanting vinegar as well. I wondered why until I read that it helps with healing your body.
Recently I started doing more research on apple cider vinegar. Mostly because I wanted to do the ACV challenge for my weight loss (which has been helping a lot in the past 3 days already). I started reading the benefits, and once I saw how good it really was for your body I got excited to add it to my diet and health journey.
Here are a 5 benefits of apple cider vinegar.
1. lowers blood pressure: The acetic acid found in apple cider vinegar can help eliminate cholesterol and triglycerides. It also boost’s your circulation and positively affected the levels of renin (an enzyme that helps regulate blood pressure).
2. Supports Weight Loss: As apple cider vinegar in part aids in metabolizing your body’s glucose, it prevents your body from over producing insulin which can leave you craving sugar and other foods that are bad for you. It has been shown to make you feel fuller longer. In a combination with a healthy diet and exercise, apple cider vinegar can help with weight loss.
3. Detoxification: Apple cider vinegar detoxify your body by stimulating your liver function and lymphatic drainage, as it also has healthy bacteria that filter to your gut and aid in digestion and eliminates waste.
4.Prevents Acid Reflux: Acid reflux and heartburn can be annoy and painful (which I know all about) Apple cider vinegar has the ability to balance your pH levels in your body. It has enzymes and probiotics that can help reset the acid in your stomach. It also helps prevention of bloating and heartburn that pushes gastric juices up into the esophagus.
5. Energy: Apple cider vinegar also helps boost your energy levels (which also helps with weight loss)
There are a lot more health benefits, but those are my top favorites. Three days ago I started the ACV cleanse (ACV challenges) and It’s already helped me lose 2 pounds, and I have so much energy. I’m not the biggest fan of the two tablespoons in a cup of water. So what I do is I take a shot of vinegar before I eat my big meal and once at night before I go to bed. I was nervous that I was going to have acid reflux (even though it says it helps) but so far so good. I also chug down a glass of water after the shot.
I’ve also found out that if you by the one with “Mother” its supposed to be better for you. I’m not 100% sure if it is or not. But that’s the one I’ve been using. It taste a bit stronger then the regular one, but I guess I can get use to it haha.
If you have any other suggestions on how I can take it, or how its helped you please feel free to comment below. I would love to hear how its helped you or how you like to use it.

My Weight loss journey journal 2.

The past two weeks have been a little harder to keep up with the gym, but I’ve been keeping up with my calories. I still have been trying to pick the healthier choices. Sometimes it is a little hard to eat the good stuff when your rushing and stressing, but I try my hardest. I’ve also made a few small changes in my diet. I’m still doing Slimfast, but I’ve also just started today the “Apple Cider Vinegar Challenge”.

My eating routine, I drink one of the Slimfast Advance Energy shakes for breakfast before I head to the gym. After the gym I eat either one wheat bread with avocado or sometime small and low on calories. Then for lunch I take a shot of  Apple Cider Vinegar “With Mother” Then I eat a salad with chicken, a wheat bread sandwich, or whatever my mom decides to cook (in a small portion). For my afternoon snack I usually just have a yogurt, fruit, or some veggies with humus. Then for dinner I do another Slimfast Advance shake, but not the energy.  Before best I usually take another shot of Apple Cider Vinegar.

My Workout, I usually go to the gym during the week then on Saturday and Sunday I relax. When I work out I try to do at least 30 minutes of cardio and a couple minutes on weights. Sometimes I do 50 minutes cardio depends how tired or busy that day. Of course sometimes you can’t make it to the gym because of being sick or in most cases with me having to take my parents to the doctors, but for the most part I can make it in time for go for 30 minutes before I have to head to work. If I don’t ,make it to the gym I stay strict to my calories, maybe go over just a tad.

It’s been frustrating losing weight. During the week it seems like I don’t lose anything if I look at the weight. Which is why I’m trying the ACV challenge to my diet in hopes it’ll let me see results. I mean I see results in my pictures I take at the gym or in my clothes, which is what helps me stay motivated. But what also bothers me is during the weekend when I’m not so strict on my calories and what I eat I seem to lose a pound. I don’t know why it bothers me, but it does haha.

Hopefully I can see results on the weight soon, but either way I’ll get to my goal weight. If you have any advice or suggestions please feel free to comment. I would love to know what has helped you or what you think I should do.

A journey to a better me.

First I want to start by saying how sorry I am for not blogging in a very long time…

Second, I’ve decided to start a journal for my weight loss journey…so here we go.

Okay, so recently I’ve decided to become healthier. I started my journey about 5 weeks ago which for the first time it’s been pretty easy for the most part. I’m not saying its the easiest thing  to do. I’ve had my hard days, but so far it hasn’t been that hard.

Not only am I working out more and eating healthier I’ve also been doing slim fast. Now I know a lot of people don’t agree with diets or products such as slim fast etc… But it’s helped me a lot. With that being said, no I’m not going to stay with it. Once I get to my middle goal weight, I’m going to stop. I’m also calorie counting so once I stop I’ll still be staying with in my calories.

When I go out to eat 90 percent of the time I pick the healthier choices, but sometimes yes I cheat. Which it seems like to me it helps me when I’m stuck and can’t seem to lose anything. Even my snacks are mostly vegetables. It’s hard when I see someone eating something I like, but I know its not good for me. But it’s been easier this time. My cravings are still there, but not to bad. I can usually fight it by drinking water.

When I go to the gym before it was hard for me to stay motivated, this time around I look forward to getting up and going. When I’m there I usually watch dance videos haha (mostly Rumer Noel and The Williams Fam) or I watch Netflix. It makes the time go by way faster then just listening to music, even though I usually have up beat and dance music when I do listen to it. Which is why I’ve set one of my goals as when I get down to a size 14 I’m going to take Hip Hop dance classes. I’ve always wanted to do dance, but recently I can’t seem to stop watching Hip Hop. Which helps a lot to not concentrate on how tired I am which working out when I’m watching the videos.

Setting goals is one of the ways I’m staying motivated. I’ve made a few small goals with rewards.


  1. Size 14 take hip hop dance classes.
  2. Size 12 get the industrial piercing I’ve always wanted (but been scared to get)
  3. Size 10 get laser hair removal done to my legs.
  4. Size 8 get a tattoo (which I’ve wanted to do for a while, but also scared to get)

I know its going to be a long journey, but it will be worth it. there will be ups and downs, but I’m determined to become a healthier and better me. I hope you all will follow me on my journey. I want to become a part of a community, so we can support and help each other to reach our goals.

Public relationship

Why is it so important for people to get involved in others relationships? Why do They have to put their opinion? Isn’t a relationship between two people, not their fan? I mean I understand when family and friends get involved if they see their loved one hurt or upset, but why the fans….

Recently there where two YouTubers who one is actually the YouTuber I talked about before. Her and her boyfriend who is another YouTuber / artist just broke up. Yes what he did was wrong, and no I’m not defending him. What I don’t understand is it’s their business not ours. In my opinion she should have just kept it to themselves and not on social media. Yes I understand their relationship was public, but all you had to do was post that you are not together anymore, not all the details. If you absolutely felt like you had to tell your fans just say he cheated, the end. There was no need to go into details talking about what he did and how he did it. I’m not saying I don’t feel bad for her, because I do. No one should ever have to go through that. All I’m saying is she shouldn’t have been so open about it. I know she’s hurting I know she wants to let everyone know, but wait until you’ve healed.

When you make your relationship public you should have known that your fans would get involved even though I don’t agree with it. You should be more careful about what you say or what you do.  I mean I agree for the fans to say “They are sorry” or “He’s a jerk” etc. But don’t attack the other person. You don’t know them personally don’t get so involved in their lives. I believe the people who are actually in their lives have the right not the fans.

Theses are a few things I want to say to all three parties.

To her, I do feel bad for you. I know what you’re going through is heart breaking. You say it’s going to be heard for you to trust people , but don’t let him do that to you. You will find someone who is good enough for you. Some one who won’t hurt you or cheat on you.

To him, what you did was wrong. If you didn’t want to be with her you should have just told her instead of cheating. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t want to hurt her like you said, but think about it look how much worse it is now.

To the fans, please just leave them alone. I know what he did was wrong, but come on no matter what you say to him it’s not going to change what he did. And how he’s been acting it seems like its not affecting him so just stop already. Let them handle this on their own. Let their loved ones take care of it not you. It’ll most likely be better that way and be more effective then you harassing him.

My past month…

My life has been stressful the past few weeks. Which is why I have not written anything the past few weeks, and I’m sorry for that. This blog is going to be more like a journal today, so please bare with me.

About a month ago my father was admitted to the hospital. He had an abscess where he had one of his hernias about four years ago, and I was driving back and forth early in the morning. Plus going to work everyday. My father is not the type of person that gets sick a lot, but the past year we’ve had two big scares with him. But at least now he’s home and feeling better then he has in ten years he says.

Once we finally got my father out of the hospital, the same day we found out my Uncle was admitted to another hospital. At first we thought it was nothing, it was his leg as usual. Then out of no where we get a phone call from my aunt. She told us to be prepared, because he was unresponsive, had heart and kidney failure. We went up the next day and it was one of the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with in a long time. I’ve never seen him like that. All he wanted to do was hold mine and my cousin’s hand (his daughter). He was in so much pain. I really believed he was on his death bed, but as usual my uncle always beats death for the fourth or fifth time. The next day we went back up, and he was back to his old self. They started dialyses and it was helping! He is now in a nursing home, and doing dialyses. I know that he still has a long way to go, but at least he’s still here.

I thought we where in the clear, but I guess as they always say bad things always happens in threes. Which leads to my third scare, my mom. As I’ve said in the past my mother’s health is not the best, so when something happens it gives me a heart attack I start feeling sick and I get anxiety. Last Thursday my mom had an eye appointment. We decided since we where done early we would walk to talk to her cardiology doctor. She was having chest pains for a few days and it was getting harder for her to breath. She had an appointment for January, so we wanted to see if there was any earlier openings. Well needless to say the nurses saw how she was. They checked her vitals they where fine even her oxygen was perfect. They got nervous and said it could be her heart. So they made us go to the ER one of the nurses even followed us just to make sure we went. When we got to the ER they did a bunch of test and they though it was one of two things. Either Heart failure or another blockage like she had last year. Of course I was nervous, but I tried to stay calm.

They did all the test and everything came back normal, but her cholesterol was very high. Which didn’t make sense to me, because she was taking a cholesterol medicine. They decided to put her on another one to see if it helps, and they have her on a heart medicine to help with the pain. We thought everything was going to be ok, but now they are going to do test on her. They want to see if she has Endocrine Fibromyalgia. My mom is at that point she just wants to give up, and says she is tired of all the test. It’s stressful because I keep having to keep her calm and keep reminding her why she needs to go through with it.

So yeah this is what my life has been like the past month. I’m sorry for not posting, and I’m going to try my best to keep up with my blog as much as I can.

Paranormal or Science?

I know a lot of people don’t believe in the paranormal, because they say there is no proof. And the proof they do have they can find an explanation. I mean I understand where they are coming from most of the time yes you can find an explanation for what you hear or see, but there are a few occasions where even scientist can’t explain.  Yet they still have an excuse for it. I guess some people just can’t be open minded to just believe maybe there is something else out there.

Growing up I was always fascinated by the paranormal. My mom was always nervous how much I wanted to learn and watch about it. Whenever I even tried to talk to her about ghost or what not she would just tell me she didn’t want to hear it, so did my sister. Later on I found out it was because they where scared. That they had always been nervous about my obsession.

When I was fourteen I came across the show “Ghost Hunters”. I instantly became obsessed. I loved the fact that they weren’t like the other paranormal shows. They tried to find the answers to the noises or what they saw. It was different from the other shows where even the littlest of sound they said it was haunted, and you could tell they where fake. I loved watching the other shows, but I just loved the fact that “Ghost Hunters” always debunked a lot yet still found evidence.

When I was little I had a few experiences. I grew up in a house that I never felt save in. Not because of a bad lifestyle, because I had parents who loved me and made sure I knew it. But it was because whenever I was alone I felt like someone was watching me at all time and it was not the best feelings. When ever I was sick with a temperature I had the same nightmare. Where there was a guy waiting for me in the bathroom of our hallway. He had shoulder length red hair, but I could never remember what his face looked like.  He would have a knife and once I walked by the bathroom he would walk behind me and try to stab me. I would run to the house that was down the road (which come to find out it was the original house when there was only farm land) and these two old ladies would open the door and try to help me. The guy would show up and I found out they where his aunts. He would always find me in different places, but not matter what when he stabbed me I would wake up. The nightmare felt so real, and it always scared me because he was in the bathroom that my sister and I always felt uneasy about.

Ever since I was little I saw a little girl that she would come to me at night whenever I was feeling scared or nervous. She woulds just stand at my door way and look at me. Sometimes she had a teddy bear with her.  She had her hair in two ponytails and they where curly, and wearing a Victorian style dress. Whenever she would show up I felt calm and safe. I would tell my parents about her and my mom just shoved it to the side and told me to stop. Later on I found out when I was little I would always be talking to myself. She thought it was just an imaginary friend. When I got a little older around five and six, she said I was still talking to myself. She asked me who I was talking to and I told her it was a little girl and I described what she looked like. My mom just thought it was my imagination or that my maturity level was growing slowly with me being premature. Once I was in my teens and still talking about the little girl my mom and sister started getting nervous.

My family decided to move out of town and into the country I was twenty-one years old.  We had pretty much everything moves into the new house or pack. My father was sleeping on the sofa, and my mom and I in their bed. My mom woke up in the middle of the night to some whispering. When she looked over at me she saw two kids a boy and a girl, and two shadow figures the height of a child. She closed and opened her eyes and the two shadow kids where gone, but the little girl and boy stayed. She grabbed my arm and said my name. The boy whispered to the girl and they looked sad. The little girl had a teddy bear in her arms. My mom said she closed her eyes pulled me closer when she opened back up the boy was gone and the girl just looked at my mom did a smirk, but still looked sad then she faded away. The next morning my mom told us what she experienced. She described whats they two kids looked like. My sister and I both just looked at her shocked. Apparently my sister saw a little boy looked at me when I was a baby in my crib, and a few times when we where little. The little girl was my Victorian girl. Of course my sister did a bunch of research and we came up with a few theories, but we still don’t have an explanation for it.

For a couple of months we kept going back to the house to get more boxes we left behind. One day my sister and mom went alone, and they both said they had a weird feeling. Well my mom left her sunglasses on the old kitchen table, then they went to the bathroom (the one my sister and I didn’t like). The shut the door to look in the mirror. They said they heard footsteps running around and little children giggling.  They grabbed what they needed and started to rush a little to leave, but when they where leaving they couldn’t find my mothers sunglasses. They looked all around when my sister noticed the box in the hallway was a little opened. When she opened it needless to say there they where. After that day neither of them really wanted to go back.

My boyfriend doesn’t believe in the paranormal. He believes that everything has a reason. There are a few people who have told me that it couldn’t have been ghost, and that we just imagined it. If that was true how did we all have our own experiences. Even my dad witnessed a few of his own experiences.

My sister thinks that I’m connected to the paranormal, because when my mom was pregnant with me she had an outer body experience.  Her sugar went low and she felt herself come out of her body and was looking down at herself. Because of this my sister believes I draw the ghost to me, and with my obsessed with the paranormal.  A few other things have happened to me growing up that has made me believe. So I know you may not, but for me I can’t help but believe. I know there are a lot of fake evidence when it comes to paranormal. Just because I believe doesn’t mean I that everything I see online or on TV I believe to be true.

If you don’t believe that’s fine, I’m not trying to force you too. But before you try to convince someone not too, why don’t you try to listen to why they believe in the first place instead of just thinking your the one in the right. The truth is no one really knows if they are real or not. There will always be a debate on if or if not, and no one will win when both parties believe they have proof. You may be right, but what if they are?


Okay so I’m always hearing people shaming others. It doesn’t matter if they are skinny or fat, but what’s the reason? I mean why do you have to talk or make fun of others? I just don’t understand. People are built the way they are, and some people feel good with how they look. By body shaming you’re not helping them you are just making things worse. I don’t care if you believe you are helping them, the truth is your just being a jerk and probably feel insecure about your own self.

Now with that being said, no I’m not saying being so over weight is ok. Or that being super skinny is healthy, but most likely the person knows this and already feels bad about how they look. There is no need to make them feel worse then they already do. Instead why don’t you try encouraging or helping them. Or better yet listen to them to understand and learn why they are obese or to skinny. Maybe they have a health issue or maybe they are depressed. You never truly know whats going on in someones life.

I’m obese, I’ve always struggled with my weight. When I was little I was to skinny, my parents where actually nervous because I wouldn’t eat and I was a stick. Then when I was in 2nd grade I had my tonsils taken out, and started gaining weight. Then I had an health issue which I’m not going to go into details, because I have already written a blog about it. So if you want to know you can go read that. But anyways, it was always hard for me to lose weight. I Was hardly eating but yet just steadily gaining. I’ve heard other stories where people just couldn’t gain or lose weight no matter how hard they tried.

I’m the type of person that it does not matter if I’m eating healthy or trying to watch what I put in my body I will not lose weight unless I workout. I’m always cleaning the house and running around staying busy, so I haven’t gained any but haven’t lost. I know I’m over weight, but you want to know what I’m happy. I know that I’m trying and It doesn’t matter if you try to fat shame me and tell me how fat I am.

I also have friends that no matter what they try or do, they can not gain weight. They get shamed just as much as over weight people. They are called anorexic, and are told they look like a skeleton (as if they don’t already know this). They always complain about how they wish they could gain weight, but some actually have health problems that are stopping them from doing so.  Or they just have fast metabolism which they eat a lot, but still nothing.

I feel like the people who love to put others down, they are just insecure about their own bodies. Or just hate themselves so much they feel the need to put others down.  I will admit I’m not innocent. I’ve looked at people and judged them right away, but then I stop and think about it. But I never judge someone on how skinny or big they are.

If you hate someone so much you have to make fun or shame them on how they look. Maybe you should look in the mirror, because I know you may look perfect on the outside, but on the inside you are the ugly one not them. I’m sorry if you feel differently. But you have no right to put someone else down or take pictures to put online and bully them. I don’t care what you think you believe, its wrong. If you feel I’m wrong and don’t agree with me I’m sorry, but this is how I feel.

Living with a scare…

Ever since I just puberty something always felt off. I always had little stomach pains, didn’t feel like eating (but yet slowly gaining weight), and felt nausea in the mornings. When I had my monthly visit it felt as if someone was stabbing me and taking the knife going down. Once I was in high school it got a little worse, and after graduating I looked as if I was right months pregnant. My mom would take me to the doctors and all they would say was I just had a heavy menstrual cycle. It was so mad that twice once in middle school then in had it for six weeks straight. They said I just had irregular periods.

About almost two years ago, I started getting sick one night. It started with just not being able to use the bathroom and feeling constipated to all of a sudden feeling sick with sharp pains on my sides. My parents and sister thought maybe Kinsey stones, so my sister rushed me to the ER. When we got there I had lost my color and I was in so much pain I kept throwing up. They gave me medicine for the pain, but a weak one thinking it was just kidney stones as well. The doctors and nurses kept asking me if I was pregnant. I don’t them know, but they still make me do the test. When it came back negative (which I knew it would)  The sent me to get a scan done. It was three o’clock in the morning so of course they weren’t to excited to be up, but after they did the scan the guy helped me up and onto the stretcher. He told me “Hope you get better soon” and looked nervous.

When the doctor came back in he looked at us nervously. He showed us the scan, and there was a huge mass. He said that it looked clear and smooth. That they where ninety percent sure it was not cancer, but I had to have an emergency surgery. And the doctor doing it was a cancer doctor. They told us the only reason they wanted the doctor to do it was because how big it was.

They started getting me ready for the operation, when the doctor came in to tell me what the risks where. He said there was a chance of a Oopherectomy. Which of course made me upset, because I always dreamed of having kids. He said he was hoping for the best and that he hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Once I woke up and they had me in my room the doctor came in to talk to us. He said that they had to do a partial Oopherectomy, but he assured me I would still be able to have children it would just take a little longer and harder. He told me he drained six liters of fluid. When they weighed me that night I had lost ten pounds, but the time of my follow-up I lost thirty-three pounds within ten days.

When we went it for my follow-up they told me that they still didn’t have all the answers, but that it was not cancer. They said my Fallopian tube had twister, and that there has only been a few cases like mine. They went on and told me how other cases unlike mine the people had an infection. They went on and told me that it looked as if my tube was twister for a long time, maybe was even born with it already like that. And that all of my problems where from that. It’s weird to know that for years I lived with that pain, and the doctors never caught it. I kept telling them how I felt and that something wasn’t right, yet none of them thought to check.

Ever since the surgery everything seems different. I don’t have the pain in my stomach anymore, and during my monthly visits I still have pain but no where near how they where before. I still have the nauseous in the morning, but a lot better then before.  I started having an appetite. It just seems like night to day.

I wouldn’t wish what happened to me on anyone. To have something this server and not know it. To know something is wrong, but can’t do anything. Because you don’t even know what’s wrong.

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